Quirks of Your Time-Traveling Buddy
by Hope Trinket
Summary: [Crack-fic] - "Did you just... apologise before incinerating its body in flames?" And zapping it? And blasting it with ice? "Yeah. Why?" Serah Farron apologised to her enemies before blasting them with elements. To say the least, Noel was speechless.


**Author Note: **Erm... This was just something I kind of picked up on when playing FFXIII-2: Serah sometimes apologises when she hits a monster. Or kills them ("I feel kinda bad..."). Basically in-game dialogue, and I came to the conclusion that Serah either has a very soft spot for basically _everything _that lives and breathes, or she's just... Serah.

Absolute crack fanfic, parody... Noel and (a bit of) Mog's opinions on her openly apologising for attacking creatures with lightning (no pun intended). Since this is crack, I've paid little to zero regards to grammar and what not. Meaning I didn't read twice before posting. Fourth wall breakage.

**Note: **For future Final Fantasy XIII fanfics, I'm not naming the Paradigm Shift names. I just did it here to be an ass. Yeah. Really.

* * *

Serah and Noel were both roaming idly through Oerba, year 300 AF where dark sand chocked the ground and air, doing absolutely nothing. Somewhat. The chocobos in their Paradigm Pack would gladly disagree. Having nearly every color chocobo known to man, or what seemed to be like a lot to them, they decided to jump along the Historia Crux. All for a chocobo.

See, when you're a giant bird whose plumage is red in contrast to the purple, you want more team mates of the same species, but of different colors. The abilities were important too since the only chocobos in the pack were, as counted, two Commandos, one Ravager, and one Synergist. That meant one yellow, one red, one blue, and one purple.

Outside of the little big-bird's complaints ("Kweh! Kweh!"), the time traveling 'heroes' needed a Medic. Bad. The last time they had fought a tough opponent, it ended with Noel kissing the ground, and Serah hastily trying to cast Curasa or whatever the hell she learns on her _other _team mate so he could attract all the agro, giving her enough time to revive Noel.

Yeah, didn't work.

Needless to say, both her and the Pulse robot-thing were able to defeat the final enemy. _Then _she revived Noel. You see, it was Serah's idea not to have one of the monsters (like that little 'cat-in-the-box' thing and the slug-thing and the giant pile of crap thing that wore a siren hat) on the Paradigm Shifts. She had sworn to Noel that she could handle the healing, and when they switched to Combat Clinic, he'd have her back (translation: She wouldn't have to waste as much mana as she would in Diversity). And Noel, being the ever-so-generous young man he was, believed her. After all, her casting time was faster than his, she was more experienced with magic than he was, and he trusted her. So why the hell not?

After browsing through the library in Academia 4XX AF (personally, Mog didn't even think they _had _a library in such a metropolis) and talking to some crazy-ass man who wanted them to record _every single monster along the timeline_ recorded into some scrapbook to substitute for his comic book collection, they wound up in Oerba. Because duh, White Chocobo (the chocobos currently on their team were kweeing with joy), and it was a Medic. Better than that stupid green one in Yaschas Massif in 100 AF (and 110 AF) who refused to join their awesome Paradigm Pack. Damn thing wouldn't convert to a crystal, as Serah liked to put it.

The first time they were taming monsters, Noel had no idea what she was talking about.

So it was safe to say that he found her pretty damn nuts.

But after 'taming' a few more monsters (jostling them up in the air, casting spells and Ruin up their-), he finally saw what she meant. Sometimes the monster would disappear in a crescendo of white light, and a fist-sized crystal would levitate and sparkle, and do what crystals did. Until one of them grabbed it.

"Over there, kupo!" Mog cheered, shape shifting into a purple and pink bow sword (Noel made a mental note to himself: Poke at Mog's choice of color scheme because that was seriously just too damn girly for a guy… Moogle or not). Serah had charged at the White Chocobo, calling for Noel over her shoulder.

A Firaga here, a Thundaga there, a Ruinga everywhere... The fight was going pretty well...

"Sorry!" a feminine voice threw in along with several bolts of lightning that rained down on their would-be new ally.

For a second, Noel thought she was being sarcastic. Like when she would yell out "Hello?" when provoking enemies as a Sentinel. But she did it again- ("Sorry!" _Boom_. Lightning strikes again) – and again – ("I'm sorry..." A large fire ball burning at the chocobo's feet) – and a-freaking-gain!

"I'm really sorry!" Blizzaga, and ta-dah, the monster was gone. No crystal, which meant they had to search some more.

Erm.

Did she _always _apologise when attacking monsters? Or did she just start that now...?

"I feel kinda bad..." She said, tone holding a bit of regret as she caught Mog in her arms. Her face fell when she realised both of her team mates (not the chocobo since it disappeared back in their invisible party group) were looking at her. Just... blank faces. And if there was one thing Meanie Miss Farron hated, it was being stared at for any moment of time. "What?"

Noel ran a hand through his hair, opting to speak first since Mog would probably leave him for the wolves on a daily basis anyway. "Did you just..." He gestured at where the chocobo once stood. "_...apologise _before incinerating its body in flames?" _And zapping it? And blasting it with ice?_

"Yeah. Why?"

Deadpan.

Serah Farron apologised to her enemies before blasting them with elements, or firing a vicious rain of arrows with her Ultima Bow ability...

Now being a hunter from day one, Noel didn't know what to say. She had swiped him of any form of answer ranging from "Um... No reason..." and "Why would you apologize to something we have to kill?" until he was left with only one response:

"Oh."

"Kupo..."

The younger Farron was equally confused because what was so bad about apologizing before hurting someone? Sure they were monsters, but not all were bad. The chocobos didn't attack unless provoked; they were docile. So it was only fair, before getting them on the team, she'd apologise in advance so they could restart on even grounds. It was simple logic, and simple teaching. _Anybody _knew that, right? Wait... what? Oh forget it. "Would you prefer if I... didn't apologise?" She suggested, still a bit puzzled.

_Wow. _He threw his hands up in defeat, avoiding eye contact because this was weird. There'd be a showoff against some dangerous enemy, and she'd apologise for hurting it. Never mind the fact that they'd be getting _their ass _kicked, of course.

"No, no, it's absolutely fine... You just... do what you have to." He forced a smile before taking off in another direction, knowing she'd follow. Noel needed some time to let everything sink in before they charged into the next fight. Because who apologised to their freaking enemies?

Lightning's little sister, that was who.


End file.
